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Female Football Monologues: Cute Skirts & Rivalries

When the two teams you cover have a bye week and Eastern Kentucky, essentially another bye week, it becomes necessary to go outside the box a bit to continue to bring the awesome. While there’s no comparisons to upside down mops or insulting another school’s shattily dressed mascot, we decided to go with a topic nearly everyone loves… women.Your thoughts on this Leon?

leon phelps

OOooooo! It's a lady!!!

Right. Anyway… we reached out to some of the fairer sexed fans of OTP to provide some womanly perspective on football. Our second guest author today is CK, promotional expert, model, and fan. More about her after her piece… about the tailgates, fantasy teams, and rockin’ skirts. Giggity.

When I was in college (now please don’t start trying to figure out my age. I’m 22. Every year.) all I knew about college football was which player was in my best friend’s dorm room two doors down. No names, of course, this is all love. I focused my attention, with intermittent success, on the men’s basketball team (until 2005 which was such a bad year for the team that I switched my focus to soccer). Aside from that, I spent my Saturday mornings preparing for tailgates with pounds of makeup and the cutest white and red Terp skirts I could find.

I remember the student section, shaking with excitement, thundering with heady roars play after play. There was Special K on the field, the band whose section was outrageously moved, and of course, drunks. I cheered and shook my pom-poms. No doubt I looked the part of a second-rate cheerleader, blonded-up, mascaraed-up, shouting “Go Team” after botched plays completely oblivious as to which way our team was even supposed to head. But I had fun.

chrissyk sb ring

Big F or little f, most folks don't get the chance to put on Spencer Folau's Super Bowl ring.

Call me petty, or superficial, if you want, I am the proto-type female “fan” with a “little-f”. But that’s how I started, and it was such a fun introduction. Flirting with the hot senior next to me, doe-eyed and asking “what’s a rover”? Sipping a beer and trying to hide my disgust at my first taste of the soapy drink, I delighted in the sheer energy of each match. While my guy friends would pout and curse at Fridge after the inevitable losses against our “rival” Duke, I’d traipse home with a hoarse-voice jabbering on that so-and-so my crush from my Art class had seen me and asked for my number.

It’s been a few years. I still rock cute skirts and “smoky-eye” make-up, but as I’m growing up I’ve noticed my skirt lengths getting longer, and I make the choice between lips or eyes when getting ready (ladies, you know what I mean). Watching the game shoulder to shoulder with colleagues and coworkers, there’s a different atmosphere, a different vibe. Gone are the fake pom-poms, the feigned female stupidity. I know which way my teams run, and who is the fastest one among them. I’ve learned that looks don’t win bracket pools. I haven’t grown up into a fan with a big-f, but I’m on my way… though I’d love it if you could give me some pointers for my fantasy team next year.


chrissykCK… the resident girl – just don’t ask her to get in the kitchen and grab you a beer. During the season she’ll share her observations of the game – complete with who’s got the cutest rear on the field. She can help you pick the right size jersey to get that sought after slimming effect, show you how to make cocktails to match the color of your favorite team, or help you organize a legendary victory party when your team takes the Orange Bowl. CK is a D.C. promoter and promotional model. For marketing and promotional opportunities and appearances, she can be reached at PromoWithCK[at] gmail.com.


One Response

  1. Spencer Folau is a lucky man. Not for the ring.

    More photos. Preferably not so cropped and not so clothed.

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