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Cards Win! Schott Kicks Hoosiers to Curb

Perhaps a better slogan is “Win Today, as long as I don’t play Ball State”

For the love of God. Cards go up big, I write a post for the win, hover over the publish button. IU shoots their wad on two killer drives, trash the first post, begin to write a loss post, hover over publish button. Cards move ball into IU territory, one-in-a-million pass gets complete, Steven Schott kicks game winning field goal, I do small happy dance and happily start over.

I’ll get to the game tomorrow or perhaps later tonight, but right now I feel like I just did an eight ball and chased it with thirty five Red Bulls. What have I learned?

  • Pete Lembo tosses his hat with Spurrier-esque authority.
  • Steven Schott is quite a good kicker. (Though we already knew this, it’s nice to be reminded)
  • The BSU defense can at times play LIKE A BOSS.
  • Sports karma is a very real thing. That little episode outlined above has pretty much assured me that I will never preemptively write, tweet, or text until there are triple zeroes on the clock.

For now, though, all that matters is IU takes the L (their third straight to this little old teacher’s college in Muncie), BSU is now 2-1, I made a nice little sum of quiche on the contest, and my asshole may never unpucker. For the IU folks who I’m sure were ready to spew forth from their suckholes all sorts of derp-tastic vitriol, I say to you the same thing I say to your team… Good job. Good effort.

IU Hate Week still undefeated. You know, in case you were wondering. 3 straight. And counting.

Thought This Needed to Be Shared. Again.

Not necessarily relevant at all to the goings on in Bloomington this weekend, but it makes me smile and all tingly in my gigglebits like when I used to climb the rope in gym class. 42-20.

IU Hate Week: Engage

How’s that “Win Today” thing working out for you, Wilson?

Well hello, there dear readers. If you’re a regular reader of OTP, you know that Monday is the Nathan show, and he certainly delivered yesterday. It was a nice little appetizer while the chef (yours truly) got the entrees ready for your consumption for this particular week. And what week is that, boys and girls?


[DISCLAIMER: Allow me to first say that hate week is meant in fun. It’s not an official evaluation of the academic profile of the school, their alumni, or their supporters. It’s a rivalry. As much as the IU fans don’t want to admit that, it is, however one-sided it may be. So if your comments will be some holier than thou spout about how football and/or athletics isn’t worthy of emotions like hate and how the academic profile of a school shouldn’t ever be poked fun of or how we are stepping over a line, do us all a favor and hit the little X on the top right of your browser. Or jump off a tall structure onto a rather hard surface. Either way. Now that we have that out of the way… let’s get it on.]

Saturday. 4 wake ups. That’s all that is between us and Hoosiergeddon. Only this time comes with no asteroid the size of Texas or Liv Tyler’s DSLs staring at a snowy computer monitor. It does however have a Texas sized ego in one Kevin Wilson and I’m sure Tom Crean’s better half has a tarty side to her. On Saturday Ball State travels to Bloomington where they will attempt to win their third straight against the Hoosiers and second straight in B-town and move within one game of .500 on the overall series. Do I need to tell you it’s big? Probably not, but I will anyway.

It’s big because it’s a game that BSU has to win to make going bowling move from the possible category to the probable category. It’s big because it’s the game of this week. And in true Pete Lembo style, the game of that week is the biggest game of all. It’s big for exposure and national attention, though the educated among us will see this differently. How a team that had to hang on to defeat Indiana State and then looked “impressive” against a first-year FBS program is a 3 point favorite over a team that hung 27 against a darkhorse national title contender blows my mind, but it at least allows for an “upset”. Perhaps most importantly it’s big for the statement it will make off the field to the people who don’t play. It’s big because hopefully, maybe, potentially, IU fans will finally realize that they are not in fact stratospherically better than Ball State. Hell, with a win this weekend, the flip side may be an easier case to make. Unless it’s competitive, perhaps new AD Bill Scholl should consider dropping the IU series. I’d hate to see our strength of schedule have a notable cream and crimson anchor on it. And that’s where Hate Week comes in. It’s time to vent. It’s time to have some fun. It’s time to call a spade a spade. And that’s what the next four days are all about. Allow me to explain.

Why do I hate IU? That’s hard for me to narrow down. It’s a composite of countless things that make my blood boil, the hair on the back of my neck stand up, and that weird post wake-up mouth funk to just sort of creep up unexpectedly. To borrow loosely from West Wing’s Robert Ritchie… IU fans are what my friends call superior sumbitches. You’re academic elitists and athletic snobs. There’s big rocks in the corner of your football stadium, there’s candy striped pants on buzz cutted white boys in Assembly Hall, a legacy of backwoods hillbilly derp-tastic fans that swear allegiance and loyalty to a basketball coach who at best was a gigantic asshole and at worst was a hypocritical bully that abused the very players he was charged with leading, and a general malaise within the football program when they actually did matter and actually were competitive. There’s the “We’re better than you and we know it” mantra that many people accept as fact that has no basis in reality. There’s the opinion that BSU football doesn’t deserve to stand on the same field as the mighty Hoosiers, despite winning two in a row. There’s a general sense of elitism and superiority when none should exist and the majority of your programs oscillate between irrelevance and a joke. And if it appears from time to time as if I don’t like you, well, those are just a few of the many reasons why.

Our posting this week will be a bit accelerated. Our podcast will be a hatetastic buffet of Hoosier disdain. You may even hear from Edge. Buckle up boys and girls, because this is about to get real.

IU Hate Week… Engage

It’s IU Week, and as such, time to pull back the curtain on another HateWeek at OTP. We always get asked whether we actually hate IU, and the short answer is no. The much longer answer is that IU is a great school with a great athletic tradition in some sports and a mediocre football legacy. Our problem with IU is really their fans, but not even all of them, or most of them. It is the small minority of Hoosier faithful that act like Ball State is so far beneath them that it’s almost an insult that they have to share the same field. Quite frankly, neither Indiana nor BSU have earned the right to look down on anyone, and the last I checked, BSU was 1-0 against the Hoosiers since 2008. At any rate, it’s IU HateWeek and if you’ll excuse me, I need to put some water in a dish for Bucknasty’s mother.

This Week’s Separated at Birth

Normally on Thursday of Game week, we offer up a Separated at Both post for Ball State’s weekly opponent. It’s all in good fun, and frankly, one of the best features we do here, if for no other reason than it lets us bust balls on the other team. This week, however, Ball State tavels to West Point for a game against Army. When it comes down to it, the guys on Army’s football squad are some of the most impressive people on the field. Not because of their catches, blocks, or throws, but because when their time of service on the gridiron is finished, they’ll begin a career of serving this country.

Even though the Separated at Birth posts are all in good fun and certainly not meant to be disrespectful, I just have sort of a moral queesiness comparing an upside down mop or Whoopi Goldberg to someone who could potentially die in protection of my right to make said comparison. So, Army is off the hook this week. How fortunate for us, then, that Kentucky (the second team we cover) plays host to Louisville… and there’s certainly nothing on that team worth respecting.

QB Alan Castro and Francis from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure

RB Darius Ashley and Sugar Ray Leonard

QB Adam Froman and Vanilla Ice

Continue reading

Louisville Tale of the Tape

We are days away from the Governor’s Cup… the annual battle of the Louisville Cardinals and the Kentucky Wildcats. When Kentucky and Louisville first started playing each other in football in 1912, Louisville’s football program was still in its infancy. Kentucky dominated six meetings between the teams from 1912 until 1924, holding Louisville scoreless in all six games, after which the teams stopped playing. From that time until the 1990s, neither school was known as a particularly strong football program. As the basketball rivalry intensified and both schools’ football programs improved, the two teams began playing annually in 1994 after an 80 year dormancy and the rivalry began in earnest. Kentucky leads the all-time football series with Louisville, twelve games to nine. What say you Michael?

michael_buffer3Live from Commonwealth Stadium in Lexington, KY, for the thousands in attendance and the millions of Kentucky fans and hundreds of Louisville fans watching around the world, Ladies and Gentlemen, Let’s get ready to rumble!

Tale of the Tape

Kentucky. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Louisville

Football Coach
Rich “This is Bullshit” Brooks. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Steve “I am Bullshit” Kragthorpe
Advantage: Brooks. By a mile.

Football Coach’s Public Perception
Survived an angry bitter mob. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Created an angry bitter mob
Advantage: Kentucky

Recruiting Pitch
Play against the best. Each weekend. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Help us beat Syracuse. Finally.
Advantage: ESS EEE SEE brother!!!!

Coach Nationally Known For…
Bourbon bottles, Bowls, F-150s. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Wrecking what Petrino created
Advantage: Uh… you can probably figure that out.

Athletic Director
Mitch Barnhart. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Tom Jurich
Advantage: Push

Athletic Director Failings
Hiring Billy Gillispie. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Hiring Steve Kragthorpe
Advantage: Push

Check out the AD’s…
Fancy billboards and barns. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Too tight turtlenecks
Advantage: Barnhart’s Billboards, Barns, and Alliteration

Stadium Named After
The entire state. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .A pizza baron who didn’t actually go to UofL
Advantage: The Commonwealth trumps a Ball State alum. Barely.

Much like the game figures to be on Saturday, this one wasn’t even close.

Louisville Hate Week… Engage

This site, and yours truly especially, has had a heavy Ball State slant these first two weeks. Blame it on the Cardinals demanding attention since the Wildcats have had Miami University and a bye week, which essentially equates to two bye weeks.

This week however, the quality of the opponent may not have improved much, but the name on the helmet certainly makes it significantly more important, energetic, and fueled with sweet glorious rage-ahol. The Louisville Cardinals and their epic disaster head coach Steve Kragthorpe roll into Lexington on Saturday and will hopefully roll out with yet another loss.

Hate Week served us well last year for the big games of Ball State… so it’s time once again. Hate Week… Louisville… Engage.


Central Michigan Separated at Birth… Part 2

Everyone from time to time gets a “You look just like…” These are who we found for the Chips. (Ed. Note… Seriously… enough with the dreadlocks.)

WR Cornelius Gallon and Jay Z

LB Tim Brazzell and Coolio

DE Sam Williams and Charlie Murphy

OL Kyle Curtis and singer Chris Daughtry.

OL Todd Johnson and drunk Nick Nolte

DB Yvener Lisca and Jimmy Walker

WR Antonio Brown and Crazy Eyes from Mr. Deeds

Central Michigan Separated at Birth… Part 1

Most everyone will get a “You look just like…” at some point in their life. We here at OTP are proud to present the CMU edition of Separated at Birth!

DL Casey Droscha and Steve Sanders

DB Chaz West and Whoopi!

LS Brian Bennyhoff and Eminem

WR Cedric Fraser and Nick Cannon, he of sucky MTV fame

OL Allen Ollenberger and Landfill from Beerfest (or Officer Farva)

K Andrew Aguila and Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite

DB Josh Wilkins and Adam Duritz

DL John Williams and the fat guy from the movie Annapolis

WR Jean Pitts and Tracy Chapman

LS Jake Ekkens and Jimmy the Crip from South Park

WR Darren Martin and an upside down mop

QB Derek Rifenbury and an old woman’s magic bingo troll

Central Michigan Hate Week…

In 6 days the Cardinals will line up in Mt. Pleasant, Michigan for what may be their biggest game to date. A win solidifies their bid for the MAC title and solidifies their reputation, a loss virtually eliminates them from the race and makes strong the doubters’ case against this Ball State team. Since our proclamation of Hate Week brought us good juju last time against the Hoosiers and effectively ended their season, OTP is proud to present… Central Michigan HateWeek. Rip it up. Hatehatehatehatehate