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Poo Dollar Incident Update

PoopgateThere is new information this afternoon on the Poopgate 2014 incident that we talked about yesterday. First and foremost is Coach Pete Lembo’s disciplinary response or lack thereof, as well as an edit to the narrative that changes the entire scope of the story.

CPL announced late Tuesday that there would be no formal discipline for his players involved in the incident. Instead, CPL is hoping they use this as a learning tool for the future. Said Lembo, “I think this is more of just a lesson of being careful of who you are with and who you associate with, and understanding that if you’re a student athlete, even if you’re not guilty of doing anything you’re just being connected with somebody that is.”

CPL also indicated that only two of the three players named were present for the incident, in conflict with the police report of the story. There were two potential identifications made by Brothers Bar & Grill staff, neither of which had the same individuals or number of individuals pointed out as responsible for the incident.

Whether they were or weren’t present is sort of a moot point, as Muncie PD has elected to not charge the players with anything, unlike the alleged 17-year old suspect, who was charged with battery with bodily waste. I’ve run a lot of background checks in my day for hiring purposes and I can safely say that’s one charge I’ve never seen, but one that would definitely spike my interest in a candidate if for no other reason to hear what that whole thing was about. Putting poo dollars on a tip isn’t nearly as exciting as my fantastical imagination would make it out to be, somewhere in the neighborhood of a poo fight in an office or throwing a bucket of pee pee on someone to right any number of wrongs.

It sucks for the players that this has generated some bit of notoriety for the program, but they say no publicity is bad publicity. However, this probably was significantly lower than #2 on the things CPL wanted to deal with. I hope he told the players to pull up a stool and take heed to his advice. With any luck, the players and team can wipe this stain off their image and move forward. It does, however, have the possibility of soiling the name of the team for a short time. In fact, I’d say it’s just a shitty situation all the way around.

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Three Footballers Involved in Poo Dollar Incident

BSULogoI think I can go ahead and end my blogging career with that headline, because frankly, if you had asked me to list the top 25,000 things that I would ever write on here that wouldn’t be on the list. It may not be on any list. Ever. But it is on the police blotter for Muncie from Sunday, as the Ball State Daily News reports.

You can check out the full report here, which would be advisable, if only so you can know what we’re talking about. The “Too long, didn’t read” version: waitress picks up bill booklet, smells something foul, finds dollars inside, dollars covered in poo. Which is just disgusting. The person who allegedly did it was 17 and with a group of six people, three of which happened to allegedly be Darius Conaway, Keenan Noel, and Nicholas Isaacs.

It raises multiple questions…

  • Why are three football players hanging out with a 17-year old? Simple explanation would be a family member. Worst case would be a recruit. If the latter is the case, I’d think that handing in poo dollars means you are no longer considered for a scholarship.
  • If the poo dollars were the only tip, then that’s kind of cheap. Two bucks (poo-covered or otherwise) on anything more than a $10 bill is a bit on the tightwad side of things.
  • Logistically, I’d like to have a conversation with the alleged suspect to see how the transfer took place. Was it direct poo to dollar? Was there a go-between like tp or the kid’s hand? This brings up multiple issues that have not been addressed. Get on that, Zaleski.
  • Is there another program that has odder arrests than BSU? From someone stiffing a cab driver on a ride from the Village to Beacon Hill (maybe $3), to someone getting  a DUI in a parking garage, to people stealing boner pills from a drug store, to now this. Big schools may have memorabilia, guns, and weed but here in the MAC it’s a boner pill poo dollar fiesta.

In at least a little bit of seriousness, I’d expect at least some form of missed game time for all three of the athletes involved, however on the periphery their involvement may have been. For Conaway, it may be worse, and probably should be, given his prior incidents that weren’t too positive for the program. CPL doesn’t strike me as someone who appreciates black eyes for the program, so I can’t imagine this is going to go over well. Also, I can only hope someone references this whole thing in Brothers’ Yelp review, because if not, we’re doing it wrong.

Jonathan Newsome Suspended, Cards Fans React Predictably

So let’s get the news of the day out of the way, shall we? Then we can get back to planning out our attack on Eastern Michigan and their fans and preparing in earnest for IU hate week. What’s the big news of the day, you ask? Allow me to fill you in. First for the BSU Athletics release…

Jonathan Newsome, a junior member of the Ball State football team, has been suspended for the first two games of the season due to a violation of team rules, according to head coach Pete Lembo.

“We are fully aware of Jonathan Newsome’s situation from Sunday night. Based on all the information gathered, we have taken the appropriate disciplinary action based on the findings of the Ball State Office of Student Rights and Community Standards, and in conjunction with our football program’s policies.”

Newsome, who redshirted in 2011 after transferring from Ohio State, will serve his suspension for Ball State’s Aug. 30 season opener vs. Eastern Michigan and the Cardinals Sept. 8 game at Clemson.

So there’s that. The Muncie Star Press reported that Newsome was pulled over on Sunday night/Monday morning for failure to signal a turn and police discovered an expired license plate on Newsome’s Jeep, a warrant was issued for a failure to appear charge, and upon further inspection of the vehicle, a small amount of what police believed to be marijuana. So Newsome’s Monday morning was significantly worse than yours, unless you finally got caught being someone’s heroin mule through the Texas countryside.

As the statement above indicates, Lembo’s decision was to suspend Newsome for the first two games and it took approximately 4 seconds for the mainstream media and others to promptly jump on their high horse and proclaim the punishment as soft. I’m not going to specifically call anyone out, but a quick Twitter search for replies to our Newsome tweets or people we’ve been going back and forth with for the day would make them easy to find if you were so inclined.

In summation, most Cards fans that had something to say had something negative to say about Lembo’s decision. Many pointed to the fact that it wasn’t the first time that Newsome had operated in the grey area of legality and in one case they would have liked to see Lembo “drop the hammer”.

I think what’s most irksome in this is not that fans are reacting the way that they are, it’s that they are reacting that way with the assumption that they have been given a complete set of facts about the goings on in this particular incident. I would wager dollars to donuts that Lembo and the conduct office had a bit more information to go on than what the Muncie Star Press has reported, and as such, has now become the factual record of the incident for fans. Keep in mind that what the mainstream media has access to may not be a total picture. It could be the overwhelming majority of a picture. It could be an amount far less than that. There really is no way to tell and to come to a conclusion based on a possibly incomplete or inaccurate set of facts is a tremendously risky proposition.

At bare bones, this comes down to trust. Do you trust Coach Lembo? The same Coach Lembo who had the complete picture of what happened. The same Coach Lembo who has yet to let anyone down in terms of behavior or discipline at Ball State. The same Coach Lembo who isn’t basing his decision on what is in a newspaper and may or may not be slanted or sensationalized. The same Coach Lembo who is universally lauded as a high character high quality individual. If you trust Coach Lembo, now would be a good time to do so. If you don’t, then I would have to ask if you’ve been paying attention for the last 18 months or so.

Let’s all try to keep our eye on the ball here that BSU is now a man down on the defensive front for Eastern Michigan and Clemson, with one of those games mattering a whole hell of a lot more than the other.

BSU Footballers Doing Dill Street-y Things

Dill Street is no Double Duece

Remember the old adage that we seem to espouse here frequently that news in the offseason is rarely good? Yeah, it proved itself yet again as Travis Freeman and Kenny Lee were involved in an incident leading to the arrest of them both this past weekend at Dill Street Bar and Grill. BSU students are known for going to Dill Street and chaos ensuing, so I can’t say it’s a shock or really all that big of a deal. BSU students go to Dill Street for one of three reasons…

  1. To get ridiculously blasted on cheap beer or liquor
  2. To find a member of the opposite sex and proceed to follow the Malcolm X philosophy of “By any means necessary” to enjoy their company for the evening (TRANSLATION: Find a member of the other gender and get to bangin’)
  3. Cause chaos

I can only hope that since Freeman and Lee seem to be partaking in bullet #3 above they at least got to enjoy #1 before they were arrested. For their sake, I hope #2 either didn’t happen or came to fruition before they were put in cuffs, because the bangin’ at the Delaware County Jail is neither a member of the opposite sex nor enjoyable in the least. Lembo has a nice no-comment kind of comment in the papers pledging to fully investigate and blah blah blah. The specifics of the case are murky at best, and their lack of respectable behavior is really nothing when compared to their poor taste in drinking establishments. That’s what really needs to be punished. Dill Street has been a shithole for as long as I’ve been connected to BSU and I cannot imagine it has gotten any better.

The crime itself is a class B misdemeanor which I can’t imagine is going to not get knocked down or plead out, but battery it stands as for now. Perspective: It was out of season, it seems like their was collective male groupthink fueled by booze, and some fisticuffs broke out. In the grand scheme of things, not a big deal. It wasn’t like this was BCS level skullduggery where players are firing off uzis in a fast food parking lot or running a remarkably sizable drug ring right there on campus. For this kind of stuff, I’m happy BSU is more small time than BCS champion.

UPDATE: The Star Press also has some info on the story here.

Jarmon Ruled Ineligible, Cats Career Over

In what may be the most shocking bit of offseason news out of the Kentucky program, defensive tackle Jeremy Jarmon has been ruled ineligible for the 2009 season, after failing a drug test, appealing the results, and losing out on said appeal with the NCAA. Since Jarmon was entering his senior season, and already redshirted, it means his career in blue and white is over.

Jarmon and the staff at UK were quick to address the large elephant in the room, that it was neither illegal drugs or steroid related, and simply a diet aid that is banned by the NCAA. Jarmon took it without the knowledge or support of the Kentucky training staff, and is paying a mighty hefty price for his self dabbling in nutritional arts.

For Jarmon, it is the end of the road in terms of college football, but perhaps the beginning of a comeback story, since America loves those.

Jarmon’s statement:

“Today I am here to announce that I will no longer participate in athletics at the University of Kentucky. Ever since I was six years old I knew that I wanted to attend the University of Kentucky and that dream has come true for me. I knew I wanted to graduate from high school and attend the University of Kentucky. This has also come true for me. This is something that I will never forget. This dream has come true for me and I have attended and graduated from my dream college. I will never forget Coach Brooks and Coach Ortmayer sitting down in my home and offering me an opportunity to come to the University of Kentucky and help turn around a program that has been struggling. On that day when Coach Brooks offered me a scholarship to the University of Kentucky, I accepted his offer to be a part of his program. With an extremely dedicated coaching staff and strong-willed guys that were alongside myself, we turned around a program that has seen three consecutive bowl game wins and this is something that I am proud of and will never forget. Today I am not here to discuss the name of the substance that I took nor the place that I got it from. Instead I am here to discuss the choice that I made to live a healthier life, how I attempted to do this, and the decisions that I made to reach this point. However, one poor decision has cost me my collegiate eligibility. An NCAA appeals panel consisting of representatives from member institutions decided my fate on Thursday May 21, 2009 at approximately 6:00 p.m. During an NCAA drug test given on February 24, 2009, I tested positive for a banned substance. Based on precedence, the appeals panel found that I was responsible for testing positive. Had they ruled that I did not have significant fault then I would have received a half year suspension or been restored my complete eligibility. The information that I am telling you today is the truth, documentation supports the claims that we made to the NCAA Appeals Panel and personnel from the university will concur that this is case as well.

I officially started my diet as a New Year’s resolution to myself. My goal was to drop from 286 pounds to around 275 pounds by losing body fat and becoming leaner. I have not yet reached my goal but I am a mere two pounds away. My mom was the first person to help me with my new decision. She began by cooking meals while I was home during the offseason that were low in fat and more healthy than what I had been eating back at college. After consulting with the strength and conditioning department, I asked my mom to buy me Omega-3 and fish oil pills and she did. I began this in December and have continued to the present.

The most difficult goal that I faced was to continue to eat healthy while at college. For the past four months I have purchased turkey burgers, turkey sausage and turkey bacon as a healthier alternative to beef. Receipts from the past several months clearly show this. Since I have started my diet I have lost nine pounds. I have reduced my body fat percentage from 14 percent last year to 11 percent this year. This is something that I am very proud of. I have worked hard to become a healthier person, overall.

In January, I walked into a vitamin/supplement store to find a vitamin supplement containing amino acids. I purchased this vitamin supplement but I also purchased another supplement that was suggested to me by the salesperson. It was a dietary supplement that could help make you lean and I purchased both of them. However, my only purpose that day was to buy a vitamin not any other supplement. I became aware over the process that we can be provided with only basic vitamins because of NCAA rules.

Also in January, as part of my new diet, I purchased a different protein shake because the one UK is allowed to provide us – is a good shake – but contains a high concentration of sugar and calories. I wanted to improve my health by putting high quality foods and supplements in my body. I decided to purchase an alternate protein shake other than what is allowed to be given to us by university per NCAA rules. The shakes given to us contain 32 grams of sugar and around 300 calories. The shake that I take now contains approximately 130 calories, 20 grams of protein, and less than one gram of sugar. I made a great effort to consume the best overall products that I could under NCAA rules.

On February 2, I implemented the supplement suggested to me by the salesperson into my diet. I made the decision to purchase this supplement. I made the decision to use this supplement.

Over the past four years I have established a great relationship with the athletic staff here at the University of Kentucky. I have always kept the staff informed with details of what I was considering taking. I always had full intentions of telling the staff exactly what I was taking at an earlier date, but I was occupied with rehabbing and when I finally decided to inform the staff of my decision to take this supplement it was too late.

From the last week in January until right before March 16, I had been rehabbing my shoulder from the previous season. This is thoroughly documented. With the worry of surgery and a busy schedule leading up to graduation, I had not spoken with our strength and conditioning staff about taking this supplement. This is something that I had always done previously. I had been taking the supplement approximately 15 days before I finally did go to our head trainer and tell him that I had been taking this supplement and had forgotten to talk to our strength and conditioning staff about it. I eventually did get around to telling someone what I was taking but it was too late.

On February 20, I received a cortisone shot in my left shoulder and I discussed later with our trainer if anything that I was taking would interfere with my cortisone shot. We discussed what I was taking and where I purchased everything. He recommended that I immediately stop taking it. Four days later the NCAA came into Lexington and did a random drug test and I was selected. I would find out after coming back from spring break that I had tested positive. My strength and conditioning coach knew I was taking an alternate protein drink, the fish oil, and the Omega-3.

In late January I was informed by our training staff that I would be restricted from activity. Our head trainer decided to take me out of normal activity for two to three weeks to monitor how my shoulder would respond. My shoulder did not respond accordingly. I went to the doctor on February 20th and he injected me with a cortisone shot in my shoulder. He informed me that I was not to engage in activity that would bother my shoulder. I was diagnosed with rotator cuff tendinitis. From January 29 to March 22, I did not exercise or lift weights. This time period for me was very upsetting because I was hurt and restricted from activity. Our strength coach is the person I confide in and use to gain information about supplements. Because of the injury, I was not in the weight room to have those normal conversations with our strength coach.

Injuries alienate athletes from the team and change the times that a person is even at the facilities. January 21 to March 22 was a setback for me as a person and as an athlete. I have everything to lose by taking a banned substance. That is the reason why I have been so careful up until this point. My thought process during this period was to be even more conscious of how much I was eating because I was restricted from most activities. I continued to take the vitamins and other supplements because they are all dietary supplements.

My 1st test results showed that I tested positive for a banned substance from the dietary supplement that I purchased along with the vitamins. I did not know that this supplement contained a banned substance. However, it was my responsibility to research this before I bought it or have it looked at by someone in our athletic facilities. All athletes at the University of Kentucky are well informed about the consequences of purchasing a supplement like I did. Every year we go through programs that outline and explain the rules. Clearly, I did not follow those rules on this one occasion. Every citizen in the United States faces a risk of taking an unknown substance when they walk into any store that sells vitamins, minerals, etc. Every athlete in the world faces the risk of suspension for taking a substance that has not been approved.

My goal of dieting was to prove to myself that I can control my eating habits and live a healthier life. I never intended to take a banned substance or gain any improper type of competitive advantage. I could not gain a competitive advantage if I was not even healthy to do so. The NCAA randomly tested me again six weeks after the positive test and my results were negative. The substance was no longer in my system. This shows that I had not been taking the substance long and most importantly that this was not the type of banned substance that remains in your system for a long period of time.

I do not need to cheat to be successful. I am a very self confident person. I have worked so hard my last year to finish up strong and be a representative for our senior class to show the younger guys that with hard work and pride anyone can reach their goals. Now, I feel better physically because I have made sacrifices that are hard for others to make and it will pay off for me whether it is on the football field or off the football field next season.

This dietary plan will carry over for me when I leave college. My family has a history of diabetes and high blood pressure. Injuries are a part of football and I have opened my eyes to the fact that the way I live my life is very important. I am a person who is extremely motivated and extremely strong willed. I had an opportunity to graduate early in December and leave college. However, I decided I would stretch out my classes and announce a second major. I come from a family with two parents who are military veterans and they have worked hard to become successful individuals in society. My desire is to become a successful individual in society as well. So far, I have shown people that I am a dedicated person.

This situation has cost me my eligibility as an athlete. I accept full responsibility for my decision to purchase this supplement. I am a young person that has made mistakes in my life but I have learned from them. I am going to make more mistakes in my life and I will learn from those too. I am certain that UK will ask me to come in and speak on different occasions about the problems with taking supplements. Hopefully, this will catch the attention of not only collegiate athletes, high school athletes, professional athletes, but just ordinary hard working people as well. This is not a situation that I want to forget about or run away from. I want to learn from this mistake and I want others to learn from my mistake as well. I have not spoken to the team, but I plan to do so when everyone is required to report back in June.

I will be leaving the country next Friday to further pursue my French studies. Coach Brooks and I have discussed several possibilities about my future. I may pursue a career with the NFL or come back to school and finish my second major. I am going to take some time to consider what I will do. At this time, I would like to thank the University of Kentucky for everything they have done for me since I have been here. I have memories over the past four years that I will cherish forever. Mr. Barnhart and Ms. Bell have been working with me through this process and they have done an excellent job. They have both been part of my family. They have represented me throughout this process. Coach Brooks is an absolutely amazing person. Our relationship has evolved so much over the past few years.

My fans and teammates will be disappointed when the news of this spreads. However, no one can be more disappointed than me. I was a leader on the team and I participated in the community. I will continue to be a part of the UK athletic department and volunteer in the community. The memories that I have gotten from my fans and my teammates will never be forgotten. I owe the state of Kentucky, the city of Lexington, and my fans everything that I have to offer. You truly have made me a successful person and I feel loved. I was born a Kentucky fan and I will die a Kentucky fan. I will be a Wildcat for life.”

Coach Brooks’ statement regarding the Jarmon situation:

“My first concern is with Jeremy and his family and what a devastating blow this is for them. There was no intent by Jeremy to do anything improper, it was an error in judgment in not checking with our staff (before taking the supplement). Jeremy has been an outstanding individual on and off the football field, and I hope that people understand the class act he has has been.”

Regardless of where the story goes from here, kudos to Jarmon on a great career, and in its last moments, stepping up to the plate and handling things like a man.

There is no indication as yet, as to the exact product or details surrounding it, and those sorts of things may never come to light. What is assured, though, is that this is yet another example of a stringent NCAA rulebook not allowing for any sort of exception or mitigating circumstances to be considered.

From all indications, this was a diet pill and not a steroid. It was during the offseason when the young man was not only injured, but had little contact with his team. If there ever was a chance for the NCAA to prove that it exists for the betterment of its student athletes instead of simply being an immovable stringent bureaucracy, this was it. And like usual, the NCAA has failed.

Ian McGarvey Out of the Doghouse

When last we heard from young Mr. McGarvey, he of placekicking fame at Ball State University, he was getting tossed off the team in one of Stan Parrish’s fist official acts as Cardinal head coach for a DUI citation and subsequent arrest on campus in February.

News filtered out of Muncie quietly and discreetly on Tuesday that McGarvey has been reinstated to the team and will participate in all team activities, trainings, etc. going forward. For McGarvey, his indiscretion netted him a suspension which amounted to around 3 months.

Terms of Ian’s punishment, what he had to do, or what hoops he presumably had to jump through are mere speculation, but suffice to say that I’m sure it wasn’t pleasant. So Ian McGarvey happy trails on your way out of Stan’s dog house and welcome back to the team.

OTP News Exclusive: Percy Harvin

Roving Muncie bureau chief Edge was able to score an exclusive interview with Percy Harvin, he of blazing (see what I did there?) fast speed and paper mache ligaments. Harvin has been a newsmaker recently after two reports (1|2) surfaced that he allegedly failed a drug test for the ganj at the NFL Combine. There’s been no comment from Percy or his agent…. until now.

Percy. Dude.

‘Sup.

Any response about the news today?

Greg Paulus as the Michigan QB? Or my positive drug test?

Let’s start with your positive test.

You know, the thing about that is it should be, you know, legal, you know? We got guys that drink and drive and all that, but I smoke a little. So what? My roommate listens to a lot of Widespread and the Dead, so it’s just there, man. I mean it could be worse. What if they found coke? Or heroin? I mean, come on, there’s worse things man… airplanes freak me out. How do they stay in the air?…what was your question?

I didn’t really ask one Percy.

Well, anyway. I probably shouldn’t talk about all this just yet without my lawyer or my agent.

Speaking of agents, how do you think your draft status will be affected by your positive test?

I don’t know, really. Uhhh… just… I hope I land somewhere good where I can help.

Really? That’s a stock answer if I ever heard one.

Ok, I really want to play for the Raiders. Sickest green out there, man. Any kind you want. Plus, they got this doctor that can flush you out, like they did for Latimer in “The Program”.

I’m surprised you didn’t try the cranberry juice method.

Nah man, that shit don’t work. Clearly. Hey, did you ever see “The Matrix”?

Yeah…

That was the shit. Makes you think. Sometimes I sit and think that I’m just a battery. And I’m just providing electrical energy for someone or something. I don’t know… it just makes you think, you know?

Uh, yeah. So back to…

Like, what if, like… ok… instead of my agent, it was really a Matrix agent. And he is trying to make sure that I stay plugged into the Matrix by keeping me happy with a big deal.

Yeah, that could be it. I could see that. Has Tim Tebow reached out to you yet?

Yeah, he said something about mission work and how it would help to get right with the Lord and all that. But I’m starting to believe in the Matrix. So, is there a God? Or is it some kind of all-knowing machine-baby?

Can we talk about something other than the Matrix for a second?

Sure, ok.

Other than getting baked, what do you do to relax? This has to be a stressful time for you, wondering who’s going to pick you up and how much you’ll make next year.

It is stressful. And occasionally, I like to smoke. Whatever. Other than that, I just like to think about stuff, you know? Like, ok… you know those areas of Africa that haven’t even been explored yet? What kind of stuff do you think lives there? Some tribes, or a whole new species of bugs? Also, the pyramids. How did the Chinese make those? Then I think about other stuff, like do animals have a conscience? Sometimes it gets overwhelming thinking of all that, so I just go out and glue peoples’ mailboxes shut, then I feel better.

Alright Percy, anything else you want to talk about before we wrap it up?

Nah, just that I’m pumped about the draft, and thanks for the talk. I like to just sit and talk about stuff sometimes. Like, how do those Kinoki foot pad things work? It’s pretty cool, you know?

Ok Percy, nice talking to you. Thanks for the interview. I really have to go now.

Wanna hang later? We can watch “The Matrix”.

Yeah, I’ll call you.

McGarvey Shanks Breathalyzer

Ian McGarvey, the Ball State kicker not pictured on the internet with his hot scantily clad girlfriend, was arrested early Saturday morning in a parking garage on campus and subsequently clocked in with a .087 BAC, over the limit, but not into ridiculously shitcanned, blackout, lets-go-hoggin’-at-Clancy’s-Village-Bowl drunk.

While his BAC was not unusually high, McGarvey was apparently driving erratically enough for someone to call the University Police and report the vehicle. That’s not good. Though kudos to whomever you were for being a buzzkilling narc.

Probably compounding issues is the fact that McGarvey is only 19, and apparently Stan Parrish, and rightfully so, frowns on this sort of behavior. McGarvey is suspended indefinitely, and the aforementioned reserve with the arm candy now becomes numero uno on the depth chart. Some guys have all the luck.

The police report says:

The officer smelled alcohol on McGarvey’s breath and conducted three field sobriety tests, according to the report. McGarvey, who is 19 years old, passed the one leg stand, and walk and turn tests, according to the report. He failed the horizontal gaze nystagmus test, which monitors the jerkiness of eye movement to determine sobriety, according to the report.

McGarvey blew a .087 on a Breathalyzer test, according to the report. A separate chemical test found his breath alcohol content to be .10, according to the report.

He faces two preliminary charges of driving while intoxicated – a Class A misdemeanor and a Class C misdemeanor – and one preliminary charge of minor consumption – a Class C misdemeanor – according to jail officials.

So Ian McGarvey sinks the trifecta on possible charges, and those 6am workouts that come to those who are bad little boys are waiting in the wings. Parrish had no comment, and neither did McGarvey.

VT Knows How To Grip and Sip

Frank Beamer has suspended sophomore wide-out Zach Luckett. Luckett, who comprised 50% of the Hokie returning WRs with actual game catches, racked up his second DUI since coming to campus. In stellar “Go Big” fashion, Luckett, of course being only 20 years old, was also operating on a revoked license. Because, you know, when you get a DUI at 19, they usually take that privilege away.

In Luckett’s defense, it is Blacksburg, VA, and speaking from experience there really isn’t anything to do other than grip and sip. When reached for comment, Phil Fulmer remarked, “Jesus, Beamer… it was only his second DUI. What the hell kind of Gestapo camp you runnin‘ down there…. Has anyone seen my snack?”


VT’s season was already hanging by a fairly thin thread with the loss of key players in key offensive positions. The loss of Luckett will be felt, assuming he stays suspended. Beamer doesn’t strike me as one to be played with, so farethewell, Zach Luckett, we hardly knew ye.