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MAC Roundtable: Week 5

MacRoundTableAdmittedly, the MAC blogosphere has been an evolving little gem over the last several years. I guess as the MACtion on the field hit fever pitch, the MACtion on the web stepped up their game as well. What has also evolved is the MAC Roundtable. It’s not like King Arthur’s with turkey legs and wenches running around in corsets, because let’s be honest: turkey legs are a gigantic pain in the ass to eat and the service region for the MAC doesn’t lend itself well to females capable of squeezing into anything other than a giant rubbermaid trash can (Exception: the state of Indiana and BSU specifically). Have you seen some of the slumpbusters from Michigan and Ohio? Gooo. I’d rather spend an evening with a lit piece of sandpaper. But I digress.

The host of this week’s roundtable is Eagle Totem, an EMU blog (the school, not the animal). I think it speaks volumes to Carter’s dedication about his team when you blog about EMU. In fact, I’m not sure there is a more soul-crushing endeavor than blogging about something with such little following, little success, and just a general “Meh…” sort of perception. I was going to make a joke here about what would be worse, but I’ve always been against piling on those who take a disproportionate number of bad things their way. So we’ll just move along to the Qs so you can read our As. And they’re amazeballs, as per usual.

1. When will Northern Illinois take their first loss, and when will Massachusetts, Miami, and Western Michigan get their first wins? (Or will the Huskies go undefeated and/or one of those teams go winless?)

Did someone say Northern Illinois? Heretofore on OTP referred to as OUR MOST HATED RIVAL? That’s actually a good question, though, as OUR MOST HATED RIVAL is setting the college football world on fire with the shiny little undefeated record. In the words of Christian Bale, “Oh.. gooood for you“. I haven’t looked at their schedule in a while but I remember OUR MOST HATED RIVAL playing Toledo the week after BSU. So I will say one of two things will happen. Either OUR MOST HATED RIVAL will take a loss against the Fightin’ Cardinals and then come out revenge-minded against the Rockets, or OUR MOST HATED RIVAL will squeak out a W and be supremely overconfident and drop a game to Turdledo, which would then mean a three-way tie for the MAC West assuming UT doesn’t lose another. And as Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake told us, “It’s not gay, if it’s in a 3-way.” But anyway, OUR MOST HATED RIVAL is dropping one of those two games. Where they can kiss their ridiculous hopes of back to back BCSs goodbye. KISS IT.

2. Who are your early picks for offensive player of the year, defensive player of the year, special teams player of the year, freshman of the year, and coach of the year?

Anyone who says a name other than Keith Wenning for offensive MVP is either trolling BSU fans, delusional, being a contrarian, or is simply not paying attention. I think it’s cute that other teams play offense and I commend their effort and their performance. “Good job, good effort,” if you will. Coach of the Year also needs to reside in Muncie, if for no other reason than his body of work. What Pete Lembo has done at BSU is nothing short of astounding, and frankly, all I wanted was for him to put out the embers of the dumpster fire he was given. As for defensive player and special teams player, I can’t say anyone has caught my eye, thanks largely to the MAC having no use for your so-called defense. I for one, welcome our new offensive overlords.

3. Since we did our first in-season ranking last week, which teams are most likely to finish well above where we ranked them, and which will finish far below?

I think as a collective body we got them all about right. Though I do think OUR MOST HATED RIVAL will not finish in the top spot. The top spot is reserved for winners. Winners get all the good things in life. Like top spots in power polls, super model girlfriends, and a vaccination that makes their skin an impenetrable fortress for things like the common cold, shingles, and the AIDS. Don’t lie to me BIG PHARMA. I know it’s out there. And after BSU wins the West, I’m coming for it.


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