Over The Pylon

Billy Bob Thornton was actually watching a BSU football game in this photo. The GMAC Bowl, hence the bourbon.

If you’re like me, you look forward to the week between Christmas and New Year’s and perhaps a few days on either side of it to settle down, relax a bit, hang with the family, and basically just be a non-working person that gets to enjoy some downtime out of an otherwise busy kind of life. This year for Cardinal football fans, unlike the last few, may not be as downtime as they’re accustomed too. Since, you know, the Cards clocked their 7th win on Tuesday and have virtually assured themselves of a bowl berth. What does that mean for you, fan? It means you had best make some plans to include the Cardinals in your holiday schedule.

For some, myself included, this will mean waiting with bated breath as the bowl announcements trickle in so we can immediately go to a travel site and book some hotel, airfare, and other accommodations to witness the Cards play in person. Don’t have the succulent income that owning a mid-major football blog gives you? Perhaps you should try your hand at winning your share of the cost via some skill or luck type endeavors. OTP brings you our weekly sportsbook picks but there’s also things like poker, a game your OTP staff have been known to play from time to time. Not good at it? Still think it’s all about luck? Educate yourself here.

Still can’t swing the cost of a plan ticket, rental car, bus ticket or the like? Fine. The good news is that the bowlgasm around the holidays are televised to the ends of the Earth. Once we know where the Cards are going, OTP will get you the time you should block and the food and beverages you should have on hand to make your party a memorable one. NOTE: Every item we served at the GMAC Bowl watch will be roundly thrown out and never to be made again.

It may be time to start preparing your kids/wife/girlfriend/family/etc. that when the Cards are on you are not to be bothered. Junior has some last-minute additions to the Christmas list? Too bad, son. Should have thought through this beforehand. The Mrs. (or Mr. depending on your persuasion) has an office Christmas party to hit up? Let her/him know that for the four hours the game is on you’ll either be at a sports bar or listening to Pat Boylan and the CRD boys on your mobile. I’ve found the key thing in balancing life and football is to plan ahead and preemptively soften the blow. Don’t wait until the game is announced to break the news to Suzy Q Homemaker that you’ll be stealing away for a few hours during the neighborhood soiree to watch the Cards. Then it looks like at best you just don’t want to go. Prepare her now. Then you don’t look like a prick.

EXAMPLE
You: “Honey, you look lovely today. Is that a new haircut? And have I told you how beautiful you look, lately?”
Her: “Why thank you dear!”
You: “I also wanted to tell you that it looks like the Cards are going to be heading to a bowl game sometime in December or early January. You know how much I love you and such but I feel like I owe it to the coaching staff and team who have collectively worked their peckers raw righting the ship up in Muncie to support them. I thought about going in person but I just couldn’t pull myself away from you or from our lovely *insert random holiday family members here*. So instead, I thought maybe you’d be ok if I pulled away for a few hours whenever the game is so I could be supportive of them.
Her: “Of course, dear! You are such a wonderful lifemate and supportive family member and fan. Your passion for Ball State is such a turn on! Of course you can steal away for a few hours and watch the game! I’ll be sure to make that 7-layer dip you love and purchase your favorite beer before the game. Let’s go make sexy time!”

See… that’s what you want to have happen. Otherwise, your couple-days-before conversation could go much differently.

EXAMPLE
You: “Honey, you look lovely today. Is that a new haircut? And have I told you how beautiful you look, lately?”
Her: “No, you haven’t. And don’t think I don’t know what’s going on here you sorry bastard. Your football team is playing in the whatever bowl and you want to go with your buddies and get drunk and smoke stogies and eat like a college sophomore. Well, too bad. Uncle Rhemus is hosting his combination Christmas dinner family talent show and your ass is going. Or so help me God, I’m leaving you for that hot blogger RV. I’ve heard things about him that would put you to shame, Mr. Thimble.”

See… that’s just mean-spirited and a fight you are free to avoid. Life is all about preparation and thinking ahead. It’s all about planning. You have to have the hole dug before you show up with a dead hooker in the trunk. Otherwise, you’re talking about a half hour or 45 minutes of diggin’. And who knows who’s gonna be comin’ along in that time? Before you know it, you gotta dig a few more holes. You could be there all fuckin’ night.

Filed under: BallStateFootball |