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Steve Addazio to Ball State? God, I Hope Not

Imagine my surprise this evening when I logged into the old Twitter account and saw some mentions of Ball State from guys like Tom Dienhart from Rivals/Yahoo and Orson from EverydayShouldBeSaturday. Come to find out, this in fact was not a good thing. Not a good thing at all. In fact, I would say whatever your individual definition of “good thing” is, this little nugget is pretty much the exact opposite. I hope you haven’t eaten lately because if you have, stop reading at this very moment. Want to chance the vomit anyway? Suit yourself…

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. Fuckity fuck fuck. FUCK.

I know I said I would love to have a BCS level coordinator come into Muncie and turn the MAC on its ass. This is probably the only BCS coordinator that I don’t want. At all. Like… ever. DO NOT WANT.

Addazio was the same offensive coordinator who turned the Mercedes of offenses in Florida to a broken down beat-to-shit Yugo seemingly overnight. Dive right, dive left, swing pass is not a competent playbook and if that 8 pounds of bullshit in a 3 pound bag didn’t work with some of the most blessed athletes in the entire SEC, what the hell would make anyone think that his “playcalling” or “scheme” would do anything but get our asses kicked week in and week out come fall.

I’m not sure what the payment would be for Addazio’s services, but I would imagine it would be somewhere in the neighborhood of around $350,000, which incidentally is roughly $350,000 too much for that steaming pile of monkey shit that would undoubtedly be put out onto the field. I have a better idea and a much more prudent investment. Perhaps BSU AD Tom Collins could take that money, rent a car, and go door to door to every supporter of the Ball State football program, kick them square in the balls, steal the beer from the refrigerator, drop a toilet clogging duece, and roll out laughing at the incompetence of the fans to realize what tremendous amount of bullshit this hire would be. At least then he gives it to us straight rather than this. Because “this”, if “this” is indeed a possibility, is just about the last straw. Get your pitchforks and mob clothes ready, Cardinal fans. If this is indeed true, it’s time to mount up.

One Response

  1. I agree, but I’m reserving the pitchforks and mob-gathering in the event someone in charge thinks Curt Mallory or Matt Canada is a good idea.

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