Over The Pylon

You know, they said that Stan Parrish was sort of hard-headed. Most folks thought he was obsolete and a little past his prime. Perhaps he was one of those coaches that really excels at being a Coordinator and focusing on what he knows but just isn’t suited for the head coaching position. There were questions about the talent he surrounded himself with as he filled out his coaching staff. Now, I’d say we can put those questions to rest.

Roaming the sidelines next season for Ball State will be a Shula! Two-time Super Bowl champion Don Shula will be joining the ranks with his two Super Bowl rings and a .678 winning percentage over his career that landed him in the NFL Hall of Fame. Take that, Ron English. Looks like you’re no longer the big swinger on the MAC block. Well… metaphorically speaking.

I think it’s awesome we have that kind of pull to get one of the legendary coaches of the NFL.

Yeah… about that. You may not want to celebrate too hard there, Alan. I think I may have not been as clear as I could have been.

What? It’s not Don Shula?

Not exactly.

Well, Jesus tap dancing Christ. When I get an email that says “Ball State Hires Shula for Football Staff” you have to figure that it’s Don. Hey, that’s ok. I’ll take Dave. Granted, he didn’t have the success of his father and won’t land in the Hall of Fame, but it’s still a Shula and he has NFL experience. Beggars can’t be choosers, especially when it comes to assistants.

Yeah…. about that.

Seriously? Not Dave Shula, either?

Not exactly.

Probably not Mike Shula, either?

Not exactly.

Right. So who exactly did we get, Tom?

Chris Shula!

*Blank stare*

Chris was a linebacker for Miami University. Worked last year at Oklahoma. Now he’s a GA for the Cardinals! And he’s a Shula! Don’s grandson and Dave’s son.

So I’m assuming we’ll get a sizable discount at Shula’s Steakhouse? And speaking of sizable, isn’t Don lending his name and likeness to another product now?

Maybe Ball State alums can get a discount on Nutrisystem. That might be cool in case there’s anyone who would need that.

No words. Just emotions.

BOOM. WHITLOCK’D

Filed under: Ball State, Coaches, Whitlock Snackgasm |