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Counter-Intelligence: Everyday Should be Saturday

In an effort to gain some much needed counter-intelligence on the upcoming matchup with the Florida Gators, we exchanged questions with our favorite Florida bloggers about their team, their coach, and all things Gator related. Today’s session is with Orson Swindle, Gator fan, Sporting News blogger, mustache aficionado. Orson also runs the wildly popular EverydayShouldBeSaturday. Enjoy! (Our answers to his questions will be linked when posted).

OverThePylon: You stop in to a watering hole somewhere in a dusty Texas town to check out the newest recruit about to be purchased by Pete Carrol. A bar brawl breaks out for no apparent reason and Patrick Swayze is nowhere to be found. You realize fighting is your only option and as you look down the bar you see Urban Meyer with his Heineken and his blackberry, or Rich Brooks with a large glass of Cutty Sark and a bowl full of Worther’s candies. Who do you want on your side and why?
Orson Swindle, EDSBS: Prior to this week, I would have snapped up Brooks and his mighty scotch tumbler of doom, but two nagging facts prevent me from doing this now. One, Brooks is an Oregon guy, and a confessed oenophile, so he’d likely be way more into the vino, and thus would have a spindly wine glass and not a massive, skull-thumping crystal goblet in hand. Two, Urban Meyer punched a recruit so hard in the chest this week that it made the AJC. Thus, I’ll take the younger, sternum-bruising Meyer.

(Brooks does get my pick if I have to call someone about a discrepancy on my cable bill. He’d be awesome at that.)

OTP: So your QB is out cutting off dickskins in the offseason and mentoring rapists and murderers about the awesomeness of Jesus. Do you find the collective love affair with Tebow and the national media as infuriating as the rest of us?
O/S: No. He’s obvious media bait, a very agreeable guy who does interesting stuff without winding up in jail. You can’t blame the press for hopping all over that, because it’s what they do: they cover simple stories for simple minds. Blame the hog eating the slop, not the farmer who’s just making bacon.

OTP: Speaking of murderers and rapists, would you consider Miami or Florida State your biggest rival? Someone else? Does the Kentucky game even get the fanbase remotely enthused?
O/S: Florida State is the bigger rivalry of the two. Every now and then Miami drives in and cuts donuts on the lawn and knocks down our mailbox, but that bastard down the street in Tallahassee is the local asshole, and there’s no asshole more noxious than a proximate one. Kentucky does not get us excited because there’s no pain involved: Florida has beaten the Wildcats 21 straight years. The excitement, she does not appear here.

OTP: We got to see the darker side of fandom last week as the Arkansas faithful proved that football in the south brings out a very… uh… unique set of people. We’ve always found Florida fans to be somewhat measured and the Cadillacs of SEC football fans. Unlike those God awful Tennessee fans. Who’s your 3 worst SEC fanbases?
O/S: I’d prefer to avoid a blanket “worst” and instead refine the study a bit. Most implausible: South Carolina fans, who prove every year that hope is the weed that not even the foot of an angry god can stomp dead. Most obnoxious: Georgia fans, who have one tired, ill-considered line for everything in life, and it shows. Most delusional: Alabama fans. That doesn’t really require explanation.

OTP: Give our readers something we wouldn’t know about this Florida football team that makes them a lock to win the game. Conversely, give us something we may not know about Florida that makes you think Kentucky has a shot.
O/S: The return of Torrey Davis to the defensive line altered the dynamics of our run game, and played a large part in the stifling of Charles Scott in the LSU game. Conversely, our pass defense will give up big plays, a la the long TD against busted coverage Kentucky had against Alabama.

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