Since the SBNation Blogpoll has disappeared from the face of the Earth, we don’t really have the need to do our weekly Top 25 anymore. Mainly because it would just get lost in the noise of a bunch of other Top 25s that are virtually meaningless. You can check out the weekly OTPcast for Jason’s and Alan’s power rankings of the Top 5, which are amazing, much like the OTPcast itself. So instead, we’ll use this space as a weekly ranking for random things from your OTP creators with explanations if they are so inclined. Enjoy…
OTP Top 25 for March 2014
Alan’s Top 25 Fast Food Meals That Are Worth the Guilt of Feeling Like a Slothy Douchebag
25. McDonald’s Two Cheeseburger Meal: An American classic. Probably not real meat. No one cares.
24. Potbelly’s Wreck: Largely an inferior sandwich shop, this is at least somewhat enjoyable.
23. Burger King Whopper: Messiest burger of the bunch and I’m not sure why.
22. White Castle sliders: I didn’t say I think of future people in my proximity. I care not for them.
21. Arby’s Beef and Cheddar: More so for the curly fries, but sometimes it’s who you bring that gets you in.
20. Taco Bell Cheesy Gordita Crunch: It’s like a magical crossbreed of species. And I dig that.
19. Hardee’s Thickburger: Because if you’re eating fast food let’s go big or go home.
18. Sonic Chili Cheese Dog: Sonic is the “I want something different” staple.
17. Chipotle Steak Burrito: Tough to eat while driving, but not impossible. Bask in my skills, mortals.
16. Panera Chipotle Chicken Panini: You could put anything in a panini and it would be in my top 20.
15. Quizno’s Honey Bourbon Chicken: Quizno’s are shutting down left and right. Get it while you can.
14. Taco Bell Nachos Bell Grande: There’s something comforting about nachos. I think it’s the cheese sauce.
13. Wendy’s Baconator: It’s bacon on bacon on bacon, and is that ever a bad thing?
12. Chick Fil A Nuggets: If only for the Polynesian sauce.
11. Subway Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki: Subway on the whole is bland. This is not.
10. McDonalds Big Mac: The secret sauce is Thousand Island Dressing. Hate to burst your bubble, world.
9. Qdoba Queso Burrito: Spicy. Cheesy. Satisfying.
8. Jimmy John’s Gargantuan: Add some peppers and some avocado. Go home after because your day gets no better.
7. Popeye’s Spicy Tenders: Don’t forget the biscuits. My God, the biscuits….
6. Wendy’s Spicy Chicken: Artisan as you can get from a drive thru, but beggars cannot be choosers.
5. Taco Bell Doritos Locos Tacos: Cool ranch? Nacho cheese? DOESN’T MATTER. TAKE ALL MY MONEY.
4. Panera Turkey Bacon Bravo: The line between fast food and fast casual is blurry, but it’s my list.
3. Chick fil A Spicy Chicken Sandwich: They hate the gays, but with chicken this good, I’ll just ignore that.
2. Moe’s Joey Bag of Donuts with chicken: Get the queso dip. You know you want it.
1. Five Guys Bacon Cheeseburger: There’s something about this artery clogging behemoth that just feels right. Get the cajun fries and experience heaven.