Normally on Thursday of Game week, we offer up a Separated at Both post for Ball State’s weekly opponent. It’s all in good fun, and frankly, one of the best features we do here, if for no other reason than it lets us bust balls on the other team. This week, however, Ball State tavels to West Point for a game against Army. When it comes down to it, the guys on Army’s football squad are some of the most impressive people on the field. Not because of their catches, blocks, or throws, but because when their time of service on the gridiron is finished, they’ll begin a career of serving this country.
Even though the Separated at Birth posts are all in good fun and certainly not meant to be disrespectful, I just have sort of a moral queesiness comparing an upside down mop or Whoopi Goldberg to someone who could potentially die in protection of my right to make said comparison. So, Army is off the hook this week. How fortunate for us, then, that Kentucky (the second team we cover) plays host to Louisville… and there’s certainly nothing on that team worth respecting.
QB Alan Castro and Francis from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure
RB Darius Ashley and Sugar Ray Leonard
QB Adam Froman and Vanilla Ice
K Chris Philpott and Edward Norton… curb stomping not included
QB Justin Burke and O’Banion from Dazed and Confused who heard there was some roughians about and was just escorting these fine young men home.
DE Zach Keirnan and Eminem… before he got fat
WR Scott Radcliff and Toby from The Office. No Schrutebucks included.
TE Stephon Ball and Ben Harper… who used to be awesome.
TE Cameron Graham and Jon Favreau… assuming he was black
TE Pete Nochta and Charles Grodin
G/C Josh Byrum and Grizzly Adams… who did have a beard
OL Nick Egart and Droopy Dog
WR Trent Guy and Chilli from TLC
S Chaz Thompson and Dikembe Mutombo
DB Kenneth Jaboin and Ol Dirty Bastard
K Tim Dougherty and Mitch Albom, resident bag o douche
DT Drew Davis and the cross eyed hillbilly from Waterboy
DE Marcus Tatum and a mushroom
Head coach Steve Kragthorpe and freshly laid dog shit, apologies for insulting the dog shit like this.